EVERY 31 MINUTES – Part 8


This is no longer my NaNoWriMo entry Part 8.  lol

Every 31 minutes someone is murdered . . .

THE TANGLED WEB  – RADIO DRAMA (Format modified due to Blog constraints)

CHARACTERS:-

GLORIA COGLYN – 32, emotionally and mentally strong, decision-maker, married to Jim, and neighbour of victim.

JIM COGLYN – 35, Gloria’s husband, apparently tough and aggressive, wanted for armed  robbery.

TESSA JOHNSON – 29, neighbour of Coglyns, selfish, petty, panics easily and has quick temper and sharp tongue.

DAVE JOHNSON – 31, Tessa’s husband and victim.  He is demonstrative in love and in anger when provoked.

DETECTIVE SERGEANT SMITH – 42, hard voiced, clipped speech, but with sense of humour/irony.

Scene: INT. Gloria and Jim’s living room.

FX            TEEMING RAIN PLUS VOICES RAISED IN ANGER FROM HOUSE NEXT DOOR

GLORIA   They’re at it again!

FX            THUNDER FOLLOWED BY GUNSHOT

FX            DOG BARKS FOLLOWED BY THUNDER

FX            DOOR SLAMS NEXT DOOR

GLORIA   What’s that?

JIM           Sounded like a car.

GLORIA   No, I think it’s a gun!  Didn’t you hear them fighting?  They’ve been at it for days.

JIM            I’m sure it was a car.

GLORIA   But you didn’t see them outside earlier.  I did.

JIM           What were they doing?

GLORIA    Well, she threw all his clothes in the garden, and he chased her swearing he’d kill her.

JIM            I still think it was a car.

FX             THUNDER, DOG BARKS

GLORIA    We’d better call the police.

FX             PHONE PICKED UP, THEN SLAMMED DOWN

JIM            You can’t do that!  If it was a car we’ll look like idiots.

GLORIA    But what if he’s killed her?

JIM            That’s right, blame it on him!  She might’ve shot him.  Anyway, it was a car!!

GLORIA    Well if you won’t call the police, then go and have a look.

JIM            I’m not going over there.  It’s none of our business.  Besides it’s pouring.

GLORIA    What if someone’s hurt and we do nothing?

JIM            It’s none of our business!

GLORIA    Well, I’m going over there to have a look, if you won’t.

FX              DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES, RAIN STILL TEEMING

FX              FOOTSTEPS IN PUDDLES, DOG BARKS CONTINUALLY

FX              WOMAN’S SCREAM – FADE OUT

FX              FADE IN – EXT. SIRENS, THEN SIRENS HEARD FROM INT.

GLORIA    You were right.  She shot him.  I called the police and the ambulance.

JIM            Is he dead?

GLORIA    No, but he’s real bad.  They’ve taken him to intensive care.  She’s gone.  The place is in a real mess!

FX             KNOCK ON THE DOOR

GLORIA    That’ll be Detective Sergeant Smith.  He’ll want a statement.

JIM            (PANICKING)  I told you to keep out of it!

GLORIA    We’re neighbours.  They’d have questioned us anyway.

FX             DOOR OPENS, FEET STAMP, THEN DOOR CLOSES

SMITH      (OFF)  Mrs Coglyn, just a few questions.  (PAUSE THEN ON)  Jim Coglyn!  What a surprise.  We’ve been looking for you.

GLORIA    Jim!  What’s he talking about?  How does he know you?

JIM            You stupid bitch!  Now look what you’ve done.  Dropped me right in it.

SMITH       He’s wanted for armed robbery at a couple of TAB offices.  You might as well come quietly, Coglyn.  Now about this incident next door (FADE).

FX              MUSIC ON RADIO IN BACKGROUND.  PHONE RINGS.

GLORIA    Hello?

TESSA      Hi, Gloria.  It’s Tessa.  I need your help.

GLORIA    You’ve got a nerve, calling after what you did to Dave.

TESSA      I didn’t mean to.  I didn’t know the gun was loaded.  I’d had enough of his yelling and lost my temper.  How is he?  Is he dead?

GLORIA    No, he’s not!  He’s in intensive care, thanks to you.  If you didn’t mean to do it, why did you run?  Why didn’t you call an ambulance?

TESSA      I panicked.  You’ve got to help me.  I need money and somewhere to hide.  I thought maybe your beach-house?

GLORIA    I don’t know that I should help you.  Things are bad enough for me as they are.

TESSA      Please, Gloria.  I’ve got no-one else to turn to.

GLORIA     It’s against my better judgement, but all right then.  I’ll meet you at Karen’s Koffee Shoppe, in an hour?

TESSA      Thanks Gloria.  You’re a real friend.

FX             PHONE HANGS UP

GLORIA    Oh, no I’m not!

FX             PHONE PICKED UP AND DIALLED

GLORIA    Detective Sergeant Smith?  It’s Gloria Coglyn.  I’ve just been contacted by Tessa Johnson.  She wants me to meet her in an hour at Karen’s Koffee Shoppe.  I thought you’d like to know.

FX             CROWDED COFFEE SHOP NOISES.  BELL TINKLES AS DOOR OPENS.  THEN CLOSES.

GLORIA    Hi, Tessa.  You look terrible.

TESSA      I feel like death.

SMITH       That’s nothing to how your husband feels, Mrs Johnson.  You are under arrest for attempted murder.  You have the right to remain silent, but anything you do say can be given in evidence. . .

TESSA      (OVER SMITH’S SECOND SENTENCE)  You bitch!  you bloody cow!  You betrayed me!  I’ll get you for this!

FX              TESSA IS LED SCREAMING ABUSE FROM THE STUNNED SILENT COFFEE SHOP.  FADE.

FX              HOSPITAL NOISES.

GLORIA     Dave?  It’s me, darling.  It’s Gloria.  They wouldn’t let me in to see you before.  Are you okay?

DAVE         What?  Oh.  She shot me, Gloria.  Tessa shot me.

GLORIA     I know dear.  I found you and called the ambulance.  You’re okay now darling.  You lost a lot of blood.

DAVE        Where’s Tessa?  Did they get her?

GLORIA     Yes dear.  I took care of that.

DAVE         And Jim?  Where’s Jim?

GLORIA     He’d been keeping secrets from me, Dave.  He’s been arrested for armed robbery.

DAVE        What?!  Oww.  I can’t believe what’s been happening.

GLORIA    No.  It’s hard to take in.  (PAUSE)  I guess it’s just you and me now, darling.

(C) Copyright  Jud House  7/02/2012

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EVERY 31 MINUTES – Part 7


This is my NaNoWriMo entry Part 7.

Every 31 minutes someone is murdered . . .

Well that worked okay.  A bit fiddly to do, but speeds up the action while providing the essentials.  So now you know that your murders won’t go uninvestigated.  Now we can settle down to several Parts of this unfolding investigation, or I can slot in some more murders, complete in themselves, to divert and confuse you.  Of course it would be nice to be able to just get on with what you’ve got and find out how they are caught, if they are caught – plus a little more of why the hell they did it in the first place.  But I don’t want to bore you.

But then there is the problem of using up all my good plots in one novel – if you could call this a novel.  It certainly is beginning to look like no novel I have seen before.  I mean, I know all about Metafiction, where the fact that it is a piece of creative writing is subtly indicated to the reader, so they are caught between the suspension of disbelief and reality.  But I am being right in your face with this work – there is no subtlety about it.  And if I change it now, pull back to hints and nuances, I might lose the spark of the story, the narratorial interest – unless that’s already gone out the window.

As I was saying – I might use up all my good plots, of which I have many.  But then they wouldn’t be available to use in their own individual novels.  But then I could die before I get to write them all.  Time marches on, and unfortunately in my case it seems to have its foot firmly on the accelerator.  A dilemma.

I don’t want you to go off and chat amongst yourselves while I sort this out.  You might give up on me altogether and I’d be writing this to the cyberspace where it could drift around eternally annoying people who find the fragments and think “What the . . .?”

Focussing back to the title of this work though, indicates that I should carry on with my intermittent intrusions of other murders.  Perhaps their locations on this Earth won’t be too important, so that you can imagine them to be in any city or town you like.  That way you can take ownership of them a little.  And they don’t have to all be textual – well of course they will be, but they could be of an audio experience.  That being said I will now add the next one as a diversion.

Feel free to let me know what you think.  I’d be interested to know if anyone out there thinks this is diverting or just a waste of typing!

(C) Copyright Jud House 7/02/2012

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